Monday, June 24, 2013

Supermoon

This particular wire used to be part of the stove's power cord. Not the current stove but the old one. The stove itself is long gone but the cord remained as it held sentimental value (?) because I slightly electrocuted myself on it once.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Wild Oats Part One

I have been living in the sewing basket lately, for Love and money:

the Kid's winter coat


My friend Elf's coat, he's a dapper mountain man

And my friend Elf's pants, because he's also an earthbender
these pants nearly kicked my ass, I tell ya. Never thought I'd get then done


Kimono for the Kid

The big Boro blanket has become all-consuming to the point that it warrants its own post; stay posted.
every stitch a delightful waste of time



Reworked my Dad's old moccasins (After and Before) into the Houseshoes of Slack,
to which he responds:

"Those shoes !
Resurrected !
Formerly a work of the most cheaply paid coolies, now transformed into a work of art that reminds me of the ancient skills of dedicated artisans who built and painted the great pyramids, the Roman colossus, engineered the worlds' first telescope with delicate, precise curvatures to match the natural state of the earth within a galactic state of magnification - yes - all this you've accomplished by rejuvenating the humble moccasin, transforming them into a wonderful kaleidoscope of colours in binding and decoration. The wearer of these coverings would be the envy of every right-thinking bipedalian. Nice work !"
The hairy parts of the moccasins got repurposed further into a finger tab for the kid's new bow.
New, as in she got it for Christmas.

Monday, June 10, 2013

The Bushwhacker 9000

Once upon a time on a day very much like today I did a huge and heroic amount of yardwork. Actually, it was only the side yard and part of the front where the mower doesn't fit, so not huge, but my knee did twinge a little so be impressed.

Mind you, it needed to be done, but necessity pales in comparison to the opportunity to formulate that prized staple of modern conversation, that polished gem of good judgment and thrift, the Product Review.

Here without further ado are the finer points of the Bushwhacker 9000*
*test audiences say they prefer that name
It's actually a scythe, not a sickle. A sickle is a hand tool pictured on the former Soviet flag. (A "cycle" is what it was labeled as in the old stuff store, because words are hard) There's some as calls it a sling blade, mmhmmm.

This is two feet of sharpened steel radiator-clamped to an ergonomically curved wooden handle featuring two strategically placed hand grips and a lovely hard-wearing painted finish! (red to hide any blood spatters)

This quality implement makes short work of masses of grasses, weeds gone to seed, brush, bush, brambles and briars. It smoothly slices through the toughest of tasks to leave your lawn looking lush and verdant. Even better, you get maximum effectiveness when the grass is more than 6 inches tall, so you don't have to mow that lawn til you're good and ready!

PROS:
  • No pull start, no moving parts
  • No costly fossil fuels or noise pollution
  • A good source of exercise
  • Keeps the neighbors guessing
  • Mows any size yard (your mileage may vary)
CONS:
  • Can cause sweating
  • May sever improperly placed body parts
  • Does not include leafblower or mulching attachments
SPECIFICATIONS:
  • Sharp
  • Right-to-Left swinging action
  • Outdoor use only
  • Variable speed
  • No skills required; keep out of children
This fine product is available wherever outdated farm implements are sold. Get yours today!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Unearthed by Dogs

Some things should never see the light of day. Actually they cannot, as they have no eyes.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Mysterious Object

Center stage, silver-flecked whiteness and nearly perfect roundness.

     mad·stone, noun

     Definition of MADSTONE, by Merriam-Webster

a stony concretion (as a hair ball taken from the stomach of a deer) supposed formerly in folklore and by some physicians to counteract the poisonous effects of the bite of an animal (as one affected with rabies)


Pretty sure it ain't that, but it's as good a story as any, considering I like stories. I didn't take it from a deer's stomach, just found it near the curb of a suburban Texas street while on an afternoon walkabout. Might be a marble or the gullet-stone of a moa. My friend the hoodoo dude has one too.