Into the New

This is of course the Southern Oracle (Auricle?) from the Neverending Story. One may only pass this gate with heartfelt confidence in one's worth and purpose.

It's been a big year.
I moved myself, the Kid, the Mister and his Kid and 40 feet of U-Haul to a new house in a new state.

my moving parts were very tired

A new job found me and offered better pay than anything previous to go and take pictures of houses, and measure how big they are, and put checkmarks in little boxes for Asphalt Shingles and Brick Veneer. Sometimes I even get to climb a ladder for better views of the roof.
I can tell it's a good job because all the dogs I've met have been neutered, and the pit bull even gave me kisses.

And I finished another painting, which I will post next year.

Happy 2014

Swants!

Finally, a fashion trend I can revel in.

I followed the Westknits tutorial, mostly.
Some modifications are needed if using lady sweaters.Men's sleeves join the body perpendicularly; women's have a tapered sleeve.

These are females

If the angle isn't too narrow, just follow the tutorial, which is what I did for this sweater.
The gray one needs the sleeves picked loose and reattached upside down, ie with the shoulder where the armpit was, otherwise the extra fabric causes lumpage in the crotchal region. 

I cut the neck out and hemmed it as a dickey, but she wouldn't wear it.

I think I messed up here, because I ended up with ear flaps.

They're not too noticeable after being sewed down.

Had to take in the waist too

Daaaaa!

Noodly arms should not be confused with a lack of enthusiasm.  The Kid wore these into public, on purpose, and would wear them again if they weren't in the laundry. 

The Ghost of Thanksgivings Past

It's actually the thing that holds turkey legs together, but it looks like my dear departed Cody Beast.
Turkey butt was always his favorite.

Anthem

A Recurring Theme

 She is the very Mischief, a crooked girl who hopped from a crows egg hatched in a cuckoo's nest and ever afterwards walked contrarywise though the world.

 Patron Saint of Unintended Children, and people who come into our lives not intending to Stay. Also Foxes, Coyotes, Pigeons, Rats and Lost Shoes by the roadside.  

She is Mictecacihuatl, keeper of the Gates and Ways, Protector of displaced, discarded, dispirited and disenfranchised Peoples. Hers is all food eaten in secret, all forgotten truths and all hidden treasure.

Her Day is today, November 1st, Day of the Innocents.

A Long Year's Walk

My Dad had the recent good fortune and perseverance to turn 67 years old. As he did last year, he commemorated the auspicious event by completing his 67th ascent of the local Mount Moooooo (there may be an A in there, somewhere) and raising a toast

To Old Guys

 I made a picture about it with colored pencils and sent it to him. Customs rumpled it, rude bastards.

Long Bone, 18x24

 In anticipation of many years' more journeys.
Based on this:

Our lives shine for all to see.

Go In The Machine!

These days, if it's not one thing, it's your mother.

Mine decided she needed to supplement her attic insulation with 4,500 cubic buttloads of cellulose insulation. (the fancy words are a lie, cellulose means shredded up newspaper)
In August, in the warmth.
The unconventional wisdom being, that if you insulate the attic while it's 100-plus degrees outside, that heat will be trapped there so that it can keep the house nice and toasty in winter.
So I got to clamber up there with an extended-range fluff bazooka and blast away at the rafters for 3 hours.
Before the dust started, it was a silent gray snowfall.

THIS is the power supply for fluff-blasting. It requires two able-bodied persons to stand over it and crumble the bales of cellulose into manageable chunks. During my turn at this, I discovered the work goes by more pleasantly if one sings, "Crumble crumble crumble crumble crumble" to nearly any tune that comes to mind. Sadly the vocals are not included in this recording.

And now my camera is dusty.

Sighted Recently - The Grackle of Total Disillusionment

I gave him a french fry.

He wasn't cheered.

He may be afflicted with West Vile Nirus.

Old Bones Soup

Know which of my moving parts had the shortest warranty?  My freaking KNEES.

Preventative maintenance and minor repairs are accomplished with the occasional anti-inflammatory, frequent helpings of Jello, a glucosamine supplement, and my personal favorite,
Old Bones Soup!

Not all parts of the process are very photogenic.

I told you it was homely-looking

Acquire a dinner-sized portion of the bone-in beast meat of your choice.

Cook and eat, saving the bones, skin, cartilage etc.

Put these remnants in a big soup pot, cover with water,

Add vinegar (important because not only does it dissolve the cartilage, it helps leach the minerals from the bones so they may be subsumed by your bones) and usual soup fixins like salt, onion, carrots and celery.

Boil until you can't smell vinegar, then an hour or two more. There's no such thing as too long unless the water runs out.

Strain out the solids and keep the liquid. It should cool to form a proto-gelatin.
THIS IS THE STUFF KNEES ARE MADE OF, and it's in short supply in most diets.

Label carefully to avoid confusement

Freeeze it in an ice cube tray for later use .

I eat everything in there since I don't mind mooshy vegetables. But if you don't like mooshy vegetables, I suggest using the butts of the celery and onion and the carrot ends for this step to get their flavor, then discard and start with newer more desirable cuts of veggies if you're making further soup.

It doesn't have to be just soup, there are a multitude of uses.
You can add it to smashed potatoes.
Or...um...different kinds of soup. Or beans. Or mixed drinks. Go crazy.
Your knees will thank you.

Petroglyph

From the Pueblo people
(I read it in a book once. Or mostly just looked at the pictures)

It means, to leave the old village and establish a new settlement.

I would read it from right to left: the old village is rounded, familiar, woven with paths we can walk half-dreaming; the new place has corners, edges, to navigate it we must turn sharply and learn new angles.

For my Dad, who is starting on a new journey.

YOU ARE HERE

Yo Rethra! Quit piddlin' around, it's time to GO

This is my last week of employment at The Giant Kidney.
I leave behind a real Ostrich feather duster, a clock on every wall and a dear janitor friend, the lady in the leopard-print hat and an individual whom I know only as "Phlegmy". All in all, some of the nicest people I've ever cleaned up after.
 On to bigger and better things!

Gone fishing

Old fish

 New fish

Janitor fish (also new)

He's got his work cut out for him

UPDATE: They are all cohabiting nicely now, but the first few days were trying ones. Old Fish had grown used to his solitude since the tetra passed a few months ago (he was 4, I think that's old. No foul play suspected) but New Fish came from a laarrge family (and they all cost 12cents) so he was used to companions in close proximity. New Fish and Old Fish had very different comfort levels in terms of personal space, but they've worked it out now.

The Dymaxion Moth

I have seen the future and it is streamlined, sleek and aerodynamic. The ephemeralization of insects is the Next Big Thing.

Supermoon

This particular wire used to be part of the stove's power cord. Not the current stove but the old one. The stove itself is long gone but the cord remained as it held sentimental value (?) because I slightly electrocuted myself on it once.

In Hopes of Reaching a Wider Audience

"Found" in this context means he came to our home and has not left.

Wild Oats Part One

I have been living in the sewing basket lately, for Love and money:

the Kid's winter coat

My friend Elf's coat, he's a dapper mountain man

And my friend Elf's pants, because he's also an earthbender

these pants nearly kicked my ass, I tell ya. Never thought I'd get then done

Kimono for the Kid

The big Boro blanket has become all-consuming to the point that it warrants its own post; stay posted.

every stitch a delightful waste of time

Reworked my Dad's old moccasins (After and Before) into the Houseshoes of Slack,

to which he responds:

"Those shoes !
Resurrected !
Formerly a work of the most cheaply paid coolies, now transformed into a work of art that reminds me of the ancient skills of dedicated artisans who built and painted the great pyramids, the Roman colossus, engineered the worlds' first telescope with delicate, precise curvatures to match the natural state of the earth within a galactic state of magnification - yes - all this you've accomplished by rejuvenating the humble moccasin, transforming them into a wonderful kaleidoscope of colours in binding and decoration. The wearer of these coverings would be the envy of every right-thinking bipedalian. Nice work !"

The hairy parts of the moccasins got repurposed further into a finger tab for the kid's new bow.
New, as in she got it for Christmas.

The Bushwhacker 9000

Once upon a time on a day very much like today I did a huge and heroic amount of yardwork. Actually, it was only the side yard and part of the front where the mower doesn't fit, so not huge, but my knee did twinge a little so be impressed.

Mind you, it needed to be done, but necessity pales in comparison to the opportunity to formulate that prized staple of modern conversation, that polished gem of good judgment and thrift, the Product Review.

Here without further ado are the finer points of the Bushwhacker 9000*

*test audiences say they prefer that name

It's actually a scythe, not a sickle. A sickle is a hand tool pictured on the former Soviet flag. (A "cycle" is what it was labeled as in the old stuff store, because words are hard) There's some as calls it a sling blade, mmhmmm.

This is two feet of sharpened steel radiator-clamped to an ergonomically curved wooden handle featuring two strategically placed hand grips and a lovely hard-wearing painted finish! (red to hide any blood spatters)

This quality implement makes short work of masses of grasses, weeds gone to seed, brush, bush, brambles and briars. It smoothly slices through the toughest of tasks to leave your lawn looking lush and verdant. Even better, you get maximum effectiveness when the grass is more than 6 inches tall, so you don't have to mow that lawn til you're good and ready!

PROS:

• No pull start, no moving parts
• No costly fossil fuels or noise pollution
• A good source of exercise
• Keeps the neighbors guessing
• Mows any size yard (your mileage may vary)

CONS:

• Can cause sweating
• May sever improperly placed body parts
• Does not include leafblower or mulching attachments

SPECIFICATIONS:

• Sharp
• Right-to-Left swinging action
• Outdoor use only
• Variable speed
• No skills required; keep out of children

This fine product is available wherever outdated farm implements are sold. Get yours today!

Unearthed by Dogs

Some things should never see the light of day. Actually they cannot, as they have no eyes.

Mysterious Object

Center stage, silver-flecked whiteness and nearly perfect roundness.

     mad·stone, noun

     Definition of MADSTONE, by Merriam-Webster

a stony concretion (as a hair ball taken from the stomach of a deer) supposed formerly in folklore and by some physicians to counteract the poisonous effects of the bite of an animal (as one affected with rabies)

Pretty sure it ain't that, but it's as good a story as any, considering I like stories. I didn't take it from a deer's stomach, just found it near the curb of a suburban Texas street while on an afternoon walkabout. Might be a marble or the gullet-stone of a moa. My friend the hoodoo dude has one too.

Further Adventures in Janitation

So the Spay/Neuter clinic I'd been working at Is No More.
Now I have a job at a different clinic, which I'll call the Giant Kidney. I had applied as a phlebotomist, but the Universe had better things in store for me. I have returned to my roots.

the uniform

 The Giant Kidney is new and shiny (read: easy to scrub) with a pleasantly repetitive floor plan. By the time my work starts, nearly everyone else has gone home. I enjoy the silence. This is the sort of work that occupies the hands and body while leaving the mind free to roam.

self-explanatory!

 The rate of pay, incidentally, is a mere 25cents less than the highest hourly wage I've ever received in the state of misery Missouri Arkansas.  This job appeared the very same week the last one ended, and will keep me usefully employed until the next thing comes along (enigmatic smile).

largess from my previous stint as a
restroom maintenance technician

"The work to do is to continue doing the work"

Those Kids and their Internets

:Lily came up with this one. You can make your very own at thisissand.com

It comes with a shoofing-sand sound effect, but if that is not to your liking, here's this.

Useful Words

3. NormopathyPsychiatric theorist Christopher Bollas invented the idea of normopathy to describe people who are so focused on blending in and conforming to social norms that it becomes a kind of mania. A person who is normotic is often unhealthily fixated on having no personality at all, and only doing exactly what is expected by society. Extreme normopathy is punctuated by breaks from the norm, where normotic person cracks under the pressure of conforming and becomes violent or does something very dangerous. Many people experience mild normopathy at different times in their lives, especially when trying to fit into a new social situation, or when trying to hide behaviors they believe other people would condemn.

Thoth's Hourglass

My friend who cuts my hair and my Mom's hair does so in exchange for paintings; she asked for one to include her zodiac sign Scorpio and and a reworking of the Death card from the Thoth tarot deck

which looks like this

So I set about to produce something with a similar color scheme

As a reference, a teaching model of the birthing process, (swear words not included)

Given to me by one of my favorite persons who was a nurse about such things and many more, a storyteller, and I believe I am using the term correctly, Woohoohoodiwoo Woman.

Here's what I came up with...still not entirely sure it's finished.

 

Shape of the Day

A collaborative sketch by myself and my friend George of his clay animals, to remember them after they got squashed back into the rest of the clay and put away.

Lovely Bones

These are a real human femur and part of another one that I found while emptying trash bins at my old job as a janitor in the Health Sciences building at Local State University. This didn't seem like the place for them to be so I took them home with me, where they've been for the past few years. I remembered them the other day while cleaning. A friend who'd enjoy having them will be taking them soon, but in the meantime I'll share them with you. The metal implants are surprisingly heavy, definitely not titanium or any of the newer alloys. The poor decroded-looking one at the top always made me feel sad; I think whoever it lived in must have had a painful gait if they walked at all. The one below it feels smooth, almost as dense as ivory; I think its fracture must have occurred after parting ways from its person.

The Kid turns her amp up to eleven and rocks out on the Flutophone

a hooting instrument for children

A thing worth finding

Recently

English muffin injury (I punched the toaster)

Getting by with help from a friend

My ship came in

Home sweet hideaway

Mom made a friend

Be Excellent to Each Other

 I actually went out into public yesterday, in support of one of the causes I click for so passionately on the internet. I even met people I knew from real life, in the long long ago.

And a merry time was had by all.