Saturday, August 6, 2011

life theory & ground rules

=+<(%{ SHIT HAPPENS }%)>+=

this is a durable, widely applicable concept. I enjoy it obviously for the profanity, and because it addresses the inevitability that Everybody Poops.
Butt the far-reaching beauty of it is how it frees the soul from Drama.

Bad things happen, and it's nobody's fault*, LET IT GO.
Making others responsible for every awful life experience makes it *LESS* easy to process & heal from, and keeps my monkeybrain churning with all kinds of negativity. NOBODY IS ABLE TO RUIN MY LIFE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.
*even if it is somebody's fault, if it's not worth the trouble of breaking their kneecaps, or worth the expense of hiring someone to do it, it's just not worth worrying about.

And the evil twin to "it's somebody else's fault", is that every joy that happens, is somebody else's responsibility. I've felt the weight of that, and don't wish it on another soul. I can be happy without hanging my expectations on anybody. NOBODY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR MY HAPPINESS OR MENTAL HEALTH BUT ME.

I can defend my point of view all day long, for fun or mental exercise. Or i can just drop it, if it's not worth the trouble, or agree to disagree.
I've been at a point where i needed to pick a fight, any fight, just so i could win. I've welcomed Anger because it made me feel powerful, like a quasar blasting waves of rage, like i could *MAKE* people feel what i was going through. I've stood in the yard screaming AH HAY CHOO, YEW BASSTERD. It didn't do any good, just sucked energy away from my life.
I've been there. I'm not going back. There is nothing there that I want or need.

THERE IS *NO* PLACE IN MY LIFE FOR THE SILENT TREATMENT. I've been on both ends of it, and SERIOUSLY. It is not a worthy behavior for any situation I care to be in. It solves nothing, it presumes control in place of communication. Interactions with fellow humans will be based on the premise that my intentions are good. Apologies will be offered freely for real or perceived slights, but not in laundry-list form in hopes of guessing the problem. I'm not going to slog through anybody's psychodrama just for the privilege of explaining myself.

I WILL NOT FEED THE DRAMA MONSTER. I refuse to redirect one particle of energy from any aspect of my life. There may well be a gold watch at the bottom of that sewer, but I'm sure as Hell not jumping in.

Probably a rather dull read, but i've just turned 30 and am still sorting these things out. *results not typical, your mileage may vary* #thatisall


  1. Yeah, preach sister, preach!

    And it took me a long time to learn that hating someone doesn't hurt them via any sort of telekinesis - they can't even feel it - it just damages one's own psyche.

    (Came here via OSM a couple of weeks ago).


  2. My very first comment, thanks Orlando!

    That's very true too. This is all stuff that would have been useful to me earlier in life if I hadn't already known everything. Maybe putting it out here will do some good; at least it's all in one place.

    I enjoy OSM a lot, he has awesome thoughts