Jingle Tree

Christmas Card for the whole Internet

Tis the time of year when tis acceptable to say Tis (so much easier than it is)

and also the time of year to mail bits of paper and glue at the people I like.

Anyway, some of the best people I've met live inside my computer.

If not for you folks I'd feel utterly alone and abnormal in this weird world. You know who you are.

Rather than stalk after you in real life, I'll just post this.|

Merry Festivus, Happy Hanukah, Joyous Yule.

If'n you want a real card, send me an address; )

A Thing Worth Doing

the Munsell Hue Color Test (use Google Chrome for best results)

it looks like this

and it's slightly maddening. So far, my best score is an 8, because the bleens are hard.

A Useful Thing

Given to me by my friend Brian; made by people who lived 10,000 or more years ago, and used by me to scrape the stringy seedy parts out of pumpkins. (I used to have a slightly better one but it got tossed into the compost heap along with the stringy parts of pumpkins and has never resurfaced)

Pra'Brian!

the one side

the other side

The How of Birdsong

Happy End of the World Day

Actually for some of you the world may already have ended.

                                                   

                                                         So might as well celebrate!

                                                

Have some cake

Hey Chertiozhnik, I found the cake!

                                                             Hold your loved ones close

                                     

Make amends when needed

                                                and try to find some of that inner peace stuff.

Oh wait, never mind...

an expedition to the Museum

my first in many moons.
I had been to this particular one about a year ago, a week before it actually opened because i can't be bothered to verify such things before excursioning.
So. Loaded up the new saramobile with the Bean and myself and we voyaged to the Wal-Mart Cultural Manifestations for Proletarian Consumption Compound.
It's free don'tcha know!
But since you all are scattered far and wide across the internets and may not be within journeying distance I took pictures which I hereby share.

Big Metal Tree

The Museum

a model of the Museum made of toothpicks

Blue Morpho

I forget what these were called

What a large head you have!

Settling differences of opinion with a spirited game of Rock, Paper, Scissors

Bear beats scissors

Touchdown! |
(I know nothing of sports)

it's OK if the brushstrokes show

"Why cain't ya jes' paint sump'n Purdy, like Flaaars?"

these things are familiar

Big Scary Factory

Those PBJ's are good for the biceps

Maxfield Parrish(!)

Lotus of Divinity

the NO SMOKING signs were very prominent

the token "well I could do THAT!" piece

I saw this in a book once

 ....at which point my camera batteries ran out.
But in the spirit of sharing treasures with a wider audience, here's one of my own favorite things:  A fish-mouthed vessel, made by an artist who imprinted its ceramic surface with fossilized shells that are part of the dirt in Texas. Most recently used to keep spare change.

sufficient unto the day are the funds thereof

December 4

Saint Francis of Zappa, patron of iconoclasts and weirdos

My Favorite Salutation for this Time of Year

(  )Happy Holidays
(  )Season's Greetings
(X)DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE HOMES TO GO TO?!?

I haven't yet found any fellow bettors to get together a Black Friday Trampling Deaths pool, but I say 3, and a dozen newsworthy injuries.  I stay outta the stores on Buy
Nothing Day

in the Spirit,

Keeping it Classy!

Momma always said, If you can't generate your own thoughtful original content,
then just post a Youtube video of some guy sh*tting.
Actually, she never said that.
This video was shown to me yesterday by my 7 year old friend George.
There's some funny stuff on those internets!
On the other hand, wouldn't the world be a better place if all conflicts were resolved so non-violently?

Thanksgiving next week...

when I tell stories I tell them like this

The Illusion of Control

(to be worn as a Garment)

I have taken it down
having shaken all useful things from its pockets
washed it, ironed it,
Patched the threadbare spots
Soaked the bloodstains out
Peeked thru the bullet holes at that child who still thinks I am awesome (may she ever)
Embroidered a few stars to show where I was very brave
Pinned it back carefully in place, strengthened and brightened and just so.
I lift it just slightly to show an ankle, a shapely leg, a broad wise foot;
I walk proud, walk tall, walk proud.

Lovely things have arrived by mail

A birthday card from my Dad to the Kid

She's eleventeen

Also from Dad, a box of Weet-Bix cereal

The inimitable HH Munro wrote a short story about Weet-Bix but

 to avoid copyright infringement he called it Filboid Studge.

tastes better than it looks, especially as a fry breading ; )

And best of all,

LOOT!

music from one of the best bands ever, BeHeld

(think Peter Paul & Mary but with ukelele and quirk, or just go have a listen)

including a genuine Cardboard Reality Intervention(TM)

AND the new demo CD

 (I rub my hands together in hipsterish glee and fancy that I have the only one in existence) 

which will be more widely distributed as soon as Spaceman finds the time and the use of his eyeball.

 

There, I Fixed It

fig 2, Where the washing machine used to drain

fig 1, (red arrow) where the washing machine drained previously to being
diverted out the window via waterslide, back in the good ol'days before the
metal pipe collapsed somewhere underground; fig 3, (green arrow) where the
washing machine drains now since I diverted it via PVC pipe thru the old dryer vent

So my Syrian friend isn't dead, but his cousin is. Things were bad in Damascus over the weekend.

 Despite the proposed cease-fire for the Eid-al-Adha holiday, government airstrikes killed over 500.
I've no clue what to do about that, other than post a gif of candles for those killed. I'm sad for my friend, and unable to wrap my head around the reality he's living and attending university in.

I'd vote for her!

<insert rant about the inefficacy of two-party politics>

Beautiful music!

Things worth knowing

tube, additive, test, department

s Yellow             no additive                       Blood Culture                                                        Microbiology

s Red                  no additive                       Chemistry, Serology, Blood Bank                           Chemistry

p Light Blue         Sodium Citrate                 PT, APTT, INR, D-Dimer, FDP,                          Hematology
                                                                   Fibrinogen, Platelet Function(hand carry)

s  Gold, Tiger,       silicone clot activator       Chem Panel, CMP, BMP, Electrolyte,                    Chemistry
 Red w/additive     (5 minute)                       Serum Myoglobin, Serum Calcium,
                                                                   Serum Bilirubin(protect from light)
                                                                   Gold tube for cold agglutinins(warm sample)

pst Light Green      Lithium Heparin gel         Stat Chemistry, Stat Potassium, BUN                     Chemistry  
                                                                    Uric Acid, Blood Alcohol  Amylase/Lipase
                                                                    CK,MB(creatinine kinase), Calcium
pst Dark Green     Sodium Heparin gel        Stat chemistry, CMP, electrolytes, ABG's                Chemistry                           
                                                                   Ammonia(ice sample)

p   Lavender          EDTA                            CBC, BNP, H&H, HgBa1c, ESR(sedimentation),
                                                                    platelet count, Reticulocyte count                         Hematology

     Gray                Potassium Oxalate           Blood Sugar, Glucose, Lactic Acid(ice sample)      Chemistry
                            Fluoride(inhibits glycolysis; can be room temp 24hrs, refrig 48)

    Pink                  K2 EDTA                       Blood bank samples (Red tube for antibodies)      Hematology,
                                                                    compatibility tests                                                Blood Bank

p  Tan                   Heparin                            Lead analysis                                                       Chemistry

   Royal Blue         Heparin, EDTA, none       Toxicology, trace metals, nutrition analysis             Chemistry

   Black                 Sodium Citrate                  Sedimentation rate                                               Hematology

   Pearl                   Polymer gel w/EDTA        Viral loads                                                        Microbiology

and the spacing looks really spectacular in "edit" mode, buit it's crap once published. Figures.

Animal of the Week

lately the Youtube has been too good not to share.

Weather Control

Those who were unaware of the extent of my superpowers can file this one next to "Car windows open/Car recently washed" and feel free to try it for yourself.
I can make it rain just by washing all the laundry and hanging it on the clothesline (minimum of 4 loads).
I can make the clouds disperse and the sun appear by taking down all the wet laundry and hauling it to the Launderama to use the dryers (minimum $2.50 in change).

Gave my Mom a tattoo for her Birthday last month.

now we are both badasses

I'm hoping to hear back from my Syrian friend who randomly befriended me via chat. It's been a few days, so he's probably either dead or arrested. We talked about horror movies, Islam, families, work, school, the sorry state of the world. The most poignant thing he said, and profound in the midst of election season here: "I hope one day I will choose my President". I hope so too, friend.

Oh say can you C

another one for the Illuminated Alphabet.

Corazon, cordis morbus, courage, cash, credit, cancer, casino,
cigarette, castrate, castigate, chasm, charmed, committed, competent,
capable, compassionate, companionate, Castle Nebulous,
charisma, cantata, catamenia, cosmic, creative, caught by the cunt

Largely inspired by a fragment of poetry

(with a nod to the wondrous work of Rima Staines)

also I currently have a Cold for which I am taking the relevant Vitamin.

and i've unpacked my winter Pajamas
which will enable me to survive anything

on the Career front, I've dived into a class for Phlebotomy which involves poking folks with needles. If you say it sloppily it can be mistaken for Lobotomy which isn't widely practiced anymore.

Phoning it in

sometimes I have interesting thoughts of my own, but today i am merely regurgitating some pilferings from the sweet time-sucking crack that is Facebook.

THUSLY.

{(a picture of a whale)}

In 2004, The New York Times wrote an article about the loneliest whale in the world. Scientists have been tracking her since 1992 and they discovered the problem:

She isn’t like any other baleen whale. Unlike all other whales, she doesn’t have friends. She doesn’t have a family. She doesn’t belong to any tribe, pack or gang...

She doesn’t have a lover. She never had one. Her songs come in groups of two to six calls, lasting for five to six seconds each. But her voice is unlike any other baleen whale. It is unique—while the rest of her kind communicate between 12 and 25hz, she sings at 52hz. You see, that’s precisely the problem. No other whales can hear her. Every one of her desperate calls to communicate remains unanswered. Each cry ignored. And, with every lonely song, she becomes sadder and more frustrated, her notes going deeper in despair as the years go by.

Just imagine that massive mammal, floating alone and singing—too big to connect with any of the beings it passes, feeling paradoxically small in the vast stretches of empty, open ocean.

{(a link where you can hear the song of the lonely whale, and the songs other whales who enjoy well-populated lives for comparative purposes)}

...

In other news, don't buy avocados from the refrigerated produce section, even if they're only 50 cents apiece. They are all dead, I tell you; dead and brown and mushy inside.
^^^I wrote that part myself without help from social media.

A Mysterious Symbol